Cleanses, Detoxing, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Unicorns….This Sums Up The Fitness World

John Durante Blog Leave a Comment

Dear Fitness World,

30 day this….6 week challenge that. $500 dollars a month here, join my down line there…Here is the issue. I am not a against a lot of things. People can do what they want and when they want. I am not against Keto or any other thing that promises endless anti-aging benefits or large amounts of income….I am not against “ketosis” even though 95% of people have no clue what that means…That word sends shivers down my spine. I would rather be stuck in a phone booth with a pissed off mount lion than hear that word ever again….

Ok….let me get organized here…

Look, everyone has the right to do what they want. However, what pisses me off is misinformation. When a middle aged housewife with an associates degree in interior design tries to lecture me on how complicated physiological functions work…I tend not to listen. But John, you do not have to have a degree to have an opinion on something…this is true. BUT, when you are getting your information prepackaged from companies that have every train of thought broken down and laid out for you then, we are talking about sales numbers. No longer do we encourage free thought or actually looking something up for yourself. This spoon fed nonsense cheapens the fitness industry to the point that I have to write this stupid article…

I have people in my gym who “cleanse” or “fast” for days on end. Literally days…then they come into the gym and try to do glycolytic (carb using) exercise and are following a diet plan that eliminates ALL CARBS…then, they come to me and complain about feeling like crap.  Newsflash, you are the laughing stock of the fitness industry and you are not helping, you are hindering your clients because all you care about is money…Apparently certain people possess the ability to not have to adhere to the most basic bodily functions. I am just waiting for a product that offers you the ability to grow wings and fly south for the winter.

Man, I am glad I got that off my chest…let me get organized again.

I felt so compelled to write this, that I have stopped studying for an exam…funny enough, this exam is about physiological functions that I have people telling me are wrong. Well if that is the case, I need to get my tuition money back because apparently all of my professors who have research in this area are wrong…

Your body has primary mechanisms and backup mechanisms. Theses backup mechanisms have backup mechanisms….you cannot change your physiology because you want to make your liver age in reverse.

We are all going to die one day. Fasting for 3 days or mixing all of your cleaning products together to flush out your GI tract will not prevent this fact…

I would rather take my advice from fitness professionals than the 20 year old “entrepreneur” who sits behind their computer drinking bulletproof coffee while talking about their 5th coffee enema for the day…

Well gee wiz, thousands of years ago, we had to fast. We had to catch our prey….No shit, we also had to use two rocks to start the fire to cook our meals. All I would have to do is go back in time with a 50 cent lighter and rule the world. Society progresses and so does science. We do not have to sharpen spears and hunt mastodons anymore. I go to the store like a normal person. We are meant to progress… and with these progressions, we learn better and more efficient ways to do things.

In closing, think what you want. But for the love of God, please do your own research. Just because your friend wraps their stomach in icy hot to lose body fat doesn’t mean you have to too…Before you decide to starve yourself for 3 days and mix Himalayan pink salt with bleach to rid your body of free radicals, please contact a professional in the field. Not those gypsies on the interweb that want you to buy their stuff…Remember, there is such a thing as healthy amounts of weight loss…if someone is convincing you to lose 50 pounds a month, they are not not the person for you.



John Durante

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